Sunday, November 30, 2008

You Can't Tell Me What I Can and Can't Jump From!

I was actually just reading someone else's blog and they had a link to mine that said I hadn't posted in 2 months. Can you believe that? Not that I haven't posted (I don't think that surprises anybody), but that it has been two months! I have come up with a theory. I am pretty sure I am some type of a Titan or Atlas or some other muscular mystical being. The reason I say this is because time for me passes faster than you mere mortals. To me it has been a day. Well, a day and 14 minutes to be exact (figure that out you math nerds). I honestly don't know why time is moving so fast for me. Especially since I am bored all the time. Isn't time supposed to move more slowly when you are bored?

Anyway, enough about time and science and whatnot. Hmm, did you know that "whatnot" doesn't trigger the spell check thingy. Well, neither does "thingy" for that matter. Crazy.

I had a realization about myself the other day. Well two actually of equal importance. The first is that trying to jump from a swivel chair to my bed is a terrible idea. I know you'd think it would be awesome and don't get me wrong, it sorta was. But I wouldn't try it if I were you. Trust me.

The second is that I think I am a feminist. Now, I am not sure if that is possible or not. But I find myself getting offended by things on television as well as things in the world. Like for example, doesn't it bug anyone else that female characters in movies and TV always end up having a relationship with some dude? I mean if you really think about it, there are tons of guys in shows that never have any type of relationship or fall in love or anything. They are just there doing their job or being kooky or something (also how come all the comedic releif characters in movies are male?). Female characters on the other hand usually always start out being all about the job but then end up "falling in love" or whatever the worldly version of that is. I think that's a bit sexist assuming that all chicks want to fall in love or at least that being the main motivator for their actions. I mean as of the time of writing this blog, I am not a female. So it is entirely possible that I just don't understand. I am not sure if i am even allowed to be offended by this stuff. It just bothers me that female characters always have "falling in love" as part of their story lines.

On that same note, it bothers me that there are women in this world who base all their decisions and actions on how men will react to them. It drives me nuts! I am speaking about those women who seem to have no other interest other then men. Why do they care? I am going to break a long held guy secret here that I am sure I will have to pay for. Here is the scoop: We Are Not That Cool! Honestly, we talk a big game but dudes are not that awesome; present company excluded. Seriously, we smell funny, have hair growing out our ears, we scratch every portion of our bodies thoroughly, and are prone to headbutting. Wait that is cool, scratch that last one. So this being the case, why do these chicks go out of their way to impress men? This is what I mean when I say I think I am a feminist. I just want to yell at this chicks and tell them to live their own life! Maybe I am the exception but I tend to be more interested in a girl who does her own thing regardless of what dudes will think about them. But I don't think I am allowed to say anything.

Now I am kinda split on this as well. My more masculine, Steven Seagal lovin' half (which on review might be the least masculine thing I have ever said) is attracted to women who are very traditional. I mean the type of women who actually do want to become mothers and become homemakers. Not that there is anything wrong with not wanting those things, its just my opinion. I don't think that all women have to do those things or they are failures. I am just impressed by women who could do anything yet choose to be with their families.

I guess my point in what will go down as my oddest post ever, is that I believe that women should celebrate their femininity instead of looking upon it as an undesirable thing. It bothers me when women try to take on positions and roles of men. Meaning, I don't think a woman should have to act and behave like a man to be considered equal. I just think the roles of men and women in our society as well as the human race as a whole is fascinating.

Anyway that just something that I been thinking about. I am not pretending to know anything about anything. This is also a very condensed version of a full and complete thought, so if you have any comments please feel free to post your opinion on the subject and I will try better to explain mine.

Well that's it for now. Remember you can all follow me on twitter if you like by clicking here:

I tend to write there a bit more frequently. Sides, you should all be rockin' Twitter anyway fo realz.

K I'm outta here. I am off to knit starving homeless animals sweaters or possibly going to play Warcraft for 30 hours straight. I think we all know which one I'll be doing. Just gotta learn how to knit.


Jaroh said...

That was heavy.

marfmachine said...

yeah it was a bit heavy sorry. don't worry i got plenty of fart jokes ready to go for my next post i promise.

Buckwheat said...

Just to be clear, are the sweaters for starving animals, or are they human-sized and feature pictures of starving animals on them?

marfmachine said...

They are for starving animals, I already have to many sweaters with starving animals on them.

clairesmom05 said...

Wow. That was the most impressive bit of rambling I've ever though because I could hear you saying it all in my head. On your next post I will be expecting something about Claire.

p.s. this is Heidi, incase you didn't know who Claires mom was :)

Fedaykin said...

You suck for not posting in 8 years. Your comic news on the podcast is phenomenal.

mark said...

thanks dude, new one coming soon, hold your breath....or maybe don't but you know what i mean