Mark Wars: The Blog Strikes Back

What's up kids and kidettes!

I have just been out helping orphans and doing some other charity work so I haven't had a lot of time to write. I also took a small trip to Africa and sorted out all their problems. You probably saw it on the news. Then about a month ago I sat down to write and sure enough, the U.N. called and asked me to come speak again. You know, I don't mind doing it but at least give me a little notice. So I have been way too busy to write. If you don't believe that then number one, why not? And number two..... well I suppose I really only had a number one.

I went to the greatest concert ever last night! It was the Avett Brothers and if any of you are not listening to them you need to be. I can't even explain how good it was. But every silver cloud has a grey lining as the saying goes. I have decided I can't go to concerts with my brother Spencer anymore. I know what your thinking and no, it's not because of the extra arm he has. It's because he is a magnet for the most drunken, annoying people on the planet! No joke, even if they are on the opposite side of the venue they will go out of there way to be right next to us. I don't know what it is about drunk people and their need to touch everyone and everything around them. I have been felt up by several drunk people at concerts and I think only one of them was female (and I am still not sure about that one). There were these drunkards last night who thought (and I use that word lightly) that it would be a great idea to swing dance right behind us. I say dance but it was more like stumbling whilst holding hands. I would hope that they were embarrassed by their behavior today but I know that they are not. Moral of the story children is that if you want to be universally hated by the people around you, get drunk and try to dance in a crowd full of people.

I am not sure if you all know but we do a comic book podcast that you should all check out. Here is the link to our website. It is really fun and Cally will crack you up while offending you at the same time. Honestly, he is half the reason I do it. So give it a shot and see if you like it. Also tell everyone you know to download it. Especially anyone in the 60-70 market. Our numbers in the senior citizen group have been struggling.

I took a trip down to Mesquite and Zion's and whatnot. Our car broke down on the way home and so that sucked. But we hiked the Narrows which is always cool. Do you want to know how prepared I was for the hike? Sure you do. As I am sure most of you know the Narrows is a hike that is entirely in a river. So I thought it would be a good idea to hike in jeans. That is just an example of the level of intelligence I am operating on. Frightening, I know. On top of that I was hiking in ten dollar Walmart shoes. What was funny is that everyone else we passed on the hike were all wearing proper hiking equipment which made me look even more intelligent. It did help that I was also shirtless so as to show off my rippling muscles. The water was glistening off my bronzed herculean figure and my biceps............ ok, who am I kidding. However, Zion park is stunning. It is easily my favorite place in this state.

Well that's it for now. I can't tell you how cool you all are for reading this blog. Thank you for giving me crap for not writing; it is honestly the greatest compliment I could get. I really want to write more and so I am gonna try to make that happen. Plus, I need the practice if I want to land that gig writing for 90210. *fingers crossed*

Cya

-Mark

P.S. - Here is one reason you need to hook up the Avett Bros. Holy crap! No wait, the holiest of craps!